Yahom's Diary

Hey you!

2011-03-28T16:05:00.004+01:00

I mean u

Desperated? exausted? empty inside..definitely. Begging for a job u would regret for it. U dont know how u get into this field, pressure from daily life, pressure from being nothing, but it's like..haha. people thought u re doing sth. It looks good, u have good resume in the first impression, u"ve done many things before, u have been invited to embassy to have dinner, u have been working with some maybe brilliant people, but what u really learned from these, none? maybe u learned sth,that is if u dont like sth, u will do it in the worse way. so that is what u r doing now. u dont really want the job from lawyer assistant, but u have to. u dont wanna continue doing a interpreter and computer machine, u have to. u became more and more lazy, lazy about chanllenge urself, u felt unsatisfied, but dont know how to break the ice. horrible indeed. U dreamed about happy ending life, travelling all around, far away from home, to be independent , but without work, u can never reach that far.

Hey..be realistic ok? if U don't like ur situation, pls do change!!!!!!!now!!!!!!!never too late to change!!!!! stop mircoblogging that much, stop accepting rubbish information, stop eatting what u dont need, stop blaming on anything else!! u, r what u make.

Be happy, healthy, positive, and be in love

2010-02-27T19:58:00.034Z

The only thing I am worried about , to be wiz u,

is,

I cannot handle anything without u by my side...

update

2010-02-27T19:58:00.029Z

It is raining outside, have not update for a while..

I'm fine...totally fine, these days..

been to cheddar, bath, wells, and weston..

be wiz many people and parties..

cooking as usual..

laughing more than before..

dreaming of the Europe travel in the coming month...

Everything is, and going to be fantastic!!

To be or not to be

2010-02-27T19:58:00.026Z

Seeing him, everything is wonderful.

Not seeing him, down to the ground.

However,

I'd rather..the latter one..

yellow

2010-02-27T19:58:00.024Z

"Does he likes me?"
"May be"
"Am I fall in love with him?"
"No"
"Do I need to be active?"
"Ask again"
"..."
"Not now"
"Are u serious?"
"Absolutely"

Lol...my dear yellow baby~

Be disappointed in a love affair

2010-02-27T19:58:00.021Z

Crying..shouting, and losing ten pounds fat!

These are what I am dreamed of ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life is damned boring!

cheer up, girl!

2010-02-27T19:58:00.018Z

I made my schedual for next 5days.. which makes me cannot breathe, seriously.. loads of things to deal with, and no one is easy..I can do it!!! Everything will pass~~~~~~~~~~I just need to hold few more days, I can do it!!!!!!!!

I am back, China. and I will play and think about my dissertation and essay seriously.. I will, definitely, the least thing is , I only got certificate when I am graduate, so what, no one will care about this, I still can find a job and live my life and a essay mark can not stands for my ability,I trust my ability, and I will do my best.

Hey, I will survive after 24, March !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not myself.

2010-02-27T19:58:00.013Z

These days, I am not myself..although I still have fun with my lovely classmetes, my dear friends, but when I am alone, I have to face the truth...I got a lot of work!!!to do!!!!!!!befor I back home.

Come on!!!
I just felt like my worring makes my spots more visiable. Terrible!

1. 4000 literature review..what the hell, go for it.. no matter what I am researching,,just do it.. follow the structure, read the books, I cannot expect anything more. but I can do it, and do it great!

2. Tutorial for the media audiences. I only pass the last essay, It means that I need to do and read more on this one, earn more marks, and revise my attitude!!!!So, this weekend I will.

3. Tutorial for the approaches to media and communications. I am not sure about this one, anyhow, read and prepared!!!!

4. Presentation for international media business. ..............shut up and go ahead.

Wonderful...!

cannot sleep

2010-02-27T19:58:00.010Z

3 o'clock in the morning, I got up, and wrote blog.

Thinking about I am going back home 11days later, exciting! also thinking about I haven't started my essay, worrying! and my laundry, my academic books, my unknown jobs........

Anyhow, I will back home with some fabulous gifts, my mommi deserved a LV..I made up my mind, although it takes me almost one month living expense, she is my loved mom!haha!And I will bought myself one soon! When I earned my money! Go ahead!

and I am going back to cutting my hair, doing a massage, spending time with my family and eating!!!!!!

Look forward to it!!!lol~~~~

suddenly, unhappy.

2010-02-27T19:58:00.005Z

Annoying, everything is annoying, and the point is , Never pofit at other expense.

Phone4u, a big trouble, waste my time to deal with the unknow stuff, makes me upset. I have to finish the next two unknow essays, and presents two unknow presentation.Everything ,suddenly annoying me. What happened, maybe coz it is deep night, which makes me felt unsafe.

Am I kind of person who afraid of trouble? yes, indeed, of course, absolutely, definitely, whatever. I am, most times happy inside, little time want to kick someone's ass. and shouting, screw u!

Hahahahha .Nothing happened~~~~I will be back home soon!! 22days later. No matter what.

Isn't it nice?

I am going through all these.

I dreamed a big house

2010-02-27T19:58:00.002Z

Last night, or this morning, I have had a dream, dreamed of my parents got a new big house in London, and everyone from Changsha was coming here in London, my uncle, sister...such a big family. And Our home is really nice, black and white, classic and modern, The most interesting is, my relatives sent some preserved meat, to fulfill one of the room.

And I remembered I asked a question, Should I back home this March, I bought the plane tickets already, my mother said, of course not, everyone is here. And I replied, oh, get refund for the ticket will charge a lot. Lol~~~So interesting!

Ok. It is may be not a dream, it tells me , I could make this real. Just like "eastern wick".

Deal with my international media business essay first, still got 1400 words to go.

UN-EXCITED.

2010-02-26T19:32:00.003Z

Got the job!

But the thing is, I am not excited at all....

and the first sight I thought the letter was from Rob, and I misunderstood, then I realized, it is the result.

Wholly crap.

I think the reason of not exciting is, For one thing, I haven't started my essay, and don't know where to started yet. For another, I felt I didn't get crash on Rob anymore.....lost the feeling to love someone.

55555.

I would rather dip into the yearning.

Some thoughts.

2010-02-11T23:53:00.001Z

1. I got my two essays mark, pass. This is the only word I could say, I felt OK, coz I Passed already, on the other hand, disappointed, I am afraid I have no talent to study, and no patient to read at all.

2. Some of my classmates are doing great, one was having intership in Xinhua News Agency in London, one was doing BBC presenter assistant, the other one got a fantastic boyfriend who could afford her life, and also one will come back to China directly after she graduated. Everyone seems got a plan. What about me?

3.I ate, ate, ate, too much, can not stand myself any more.

4. Happy new year? At least after this new year day. Party!huge party. Enjoy it. Leave the complicated things after tommorrow.

5.Hey, My togue was stucked again. Say sth!!!

Desperated housegirl.

2010-02-08T19:55:00.002Z

Please call me.

I have no idea , what's wrong with me~~anything was too great, fantastic, terrific, no more to decribe. I just can not help doing anything but studying. I could stayed at home watching a stupid film for a whole afternoon, or scan a stupid recipe blog for a fucking whole night, I have no idea what's going on with me. I just wanna go home, without thinking of anything , not to study, not to work, not to write essay and find a job. I am out of pressure of myself when I am alone in this stupid spacious room!!It is horrible. coz this room was so comfortable, makes me don't wanna leave, don't wanna doing sth right.

I desperated want to going to library to study for a while? but I can't . I cannot even move out of my stupid room, I focus most on my recipt everyday, my personal information, I put everything together, I want sb will come and told me , he gonna give me a fatanstic job!with paid! or he wanna marry me, and do not need me to worry about the rest of my life. GREAT! That's what my stupid head think of right now! a easy way!!!

Who doesn't want to. especially in a stupid foreign country, no one could help you get out of here.

Home, all I want is go home, right now. Call me crazy. call me out of mind. call me have no thoughts and no plans, call me lazy, call me blind, call me silly.Ok, That's the me , in this moment.

I need to get rid of it, after spending a fabulous chinese new year festival. I will start over again. I promise.

I don't like she.

2010-01-27T19:18:00.004Z

One of my best friend, not now.

We have some distances, since we went to college.

I don't know what's to continue, these three nights, I felt unsatisfied with my situation.

No one can talk to, specially when my blog was being noticed by most of close friend, I cannot say anything...

ALL OF A SUDDEN

2010-01-26T21:52:00.002Z

I wanna back home.

Just a flash, into my brain.

During the birthday between my ex' and mine.

I need to plan this, for a while.

So much homework to do!That's terrible~~I can go through this..

Cause, I wanno go home.

Today is the last day of being fun.

2010-01-25T18:57:00.004Z

I have been to France already. Nice trip, even the city is not that nice.

But suddenly felt nervous...strong feeling...nobody can talk to.

Tomorrow is the first day of my second term of postgraduate.

The first term I felt relax, cause I thought will be make a great progess after few months, but few months later, till today, still got nothing in my brain. Scared..with great hope from my family...I know it was thinking too much..but just cannot stop thinking..when u really serious about your study and future work, is tough.. all right? If we could keep playing, as past ten days, how fatanstic would be?

Woke up at 9am, doing the laundrary, borrowing some books from library, and then watch several English vedios for the whole day..(Building great environment of English speaking)..Good girl!

Wanna speak to mom, actually, but don't know where to start, If told her, still cannot make things better. or else makes she worried about me.

Ok. I am fine~~I could totally be fine. Everyone was the same, so , no panic, go ahead!

For tommorrow!for the first class!

At home.

2010-01-03T21:25:00.005Z

After new year, I stayed at home. The longest distance was went to the kitchen.

Reading, writing, concentrating, sleeping, eating. No one disturbed.

That's good, and quiet. Sometimes I even seldom talk. The first words came out of my mouth was saying "happy new year" to my lovely neighbour. I surprised with my conditioned response, in English. Totally English. Not that familiar, but nice.

Baked sweetpotatoes, green leaves and mushrooms with melted butter. Nice! But not today, today I didn't felt like want to eat much. All I had is : a bowl of milk with wheat flakes, a handful sweety dates, a piece of milk chocolate, and yougurt mixed with peanut butter. I said not that much, but when listed , I felt! oh! not that less..........haha .

Good start!! I can keep losing my weight!! A lovely face in French pic.

Meanwhile, started my essay! about 1,000 words already! still 1,500 words to go!!

WOW~~~

I wanna be proved.

2009-12-30T02:19:00.004Z

Today, my friend asked me to go out to have dinner~~ I agreed...........at the same time, I thinked about sth. He said I am becoming ugly according to my photo before..AND we haven't met for 3 years......

My os was " to prove I am beautiful!!!!" but little bit afraid I am not ....................making up, trying different clothes, to make things perfect.............................I am nervous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Can't believe it ....but I DO. The main point is, I lost 3KG weight already...but still far more fat than used to be.

I need to be proved., cross the barrier. face the one and told him , he was totally wrong!!! But I even want to call him saying, I am not going! Luckily, I am not.

Because. he still think I am pretty., maybe not that much, but it is not that fat as the pic shows. and I also met so many Hunanese, we speaking in dialect, sharing jokes, and I can felt someone staring at me.

MY YOUTH, MY PASSION, MY CHARM...........

The next step!!

-3kg!!again!!

hold on , hold on............I CAN HANDLE IT!!

In process

2009-12-19T00:52:00.002Z

Bought the eroustar! I can through the sea to France~~~~~~~~~~

Dissertation proposal was being checked by Winston and Maria...........A lot need to do.

HOOPS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What a day........................................

On one hand, excited about my future Christmas celebrate and French travel!~~~~ On the other hand~~~~~~~~I am desperated in my following 3 essays! & this proposal~~~!!!!

Gesus.........GET ME OUT OF STUDY~~~~~~~~~~~~~OR HELP ME THROUGH ALL THE DISGUSTing ESSAYS!!!!!!!

Do !!please!! If you're really exsist.

Stay up

2009-12-11T07:09:00.000Z

Now is Greenwich time 7:26am.
I can't believe ether, didn't fell asleep the whole night........

What I was thinking?
Sth amazing.

For example,

when go back to home?

How to organize my luggdges between holidays?

What is my future job?

Where I will live in the end of next year?

What am I eatting for tomorrow?

Should I keeping on a diet?

How can I write the political essay? & dissertation proposal?

Should I come to Manchester this Saturday?

What I want to buy in Christmas?

What can I prepared for gifts to my dear friend?

BLABLABLABLABLA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So much~~~~~~~~~~~~my brain is BLOWING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's why I cannot sleep......
Stupid, right?

Things will come, when it coms.

Go in good health!

2009-12-08T23:16:00.001Z

The things needs to be done from 12.8-12.20!

1. Finishing 2 essay, 1 proposal.
1)borrow books.
2)read
3)one by one
4)start to write

2. Lose weight -5kg.
I am doing, drinking lemon water, eatting less.
Already -1kg, GOOD MOVE!

3. Change to the right time-zone.
1)go to bed before 12pm
2)get up before 10am
3)Moving fast
4)Plan what I am going to do every single day, and do it!
5)DADA

Hahahahaha.
Go in good health, that's what max said, for me, go in good mood as well~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cheers!

Yes, it did.

2009-12-07T23:45:00.000Z

Everytime I saw the picture from my friends, hometown, BJ, everything..

They are doing so well.. I am pround of them. Also missing them.

Especially the great Chinese dishes!

Hahahahaha.

Don't know which way to go.

But actually that's everyone concerned...so stop being blue.

No more thinking, just do it!

It's tuff.

2009-12-05T23:10:00.000Z

After one year.

1. If I have no change(by appearence), friends may feel no surprise.
2.if I am getting too fat? everyone will avoids me, including myself.
3.If I am turnning to slim, mom will afraid I was not eatting well in UK.

(Anyway, I prefer the last one, although I am acting the second one. )

In this year.

1. I cannot decide what research I am going to do for final dissertation.
2. The topic I chosed right now is ....just felt no good .
3. But if I chose advertising ...I am no familiar with it, just felt interesting, so it may also hard to do the research.
4. I would like to do sth related to my future career. But I have no plan for my future career right now....................................What I thought before, has already fade out...
5. It's just a dissertation, or my whole career life....................................
6. So I cannot make decision.........I was thinking , thinking ,thinking,,for nothing......................

(Maybe I was thinking too much,but it is the reality , all right? I have to figure sth in my entire life, all right? I cannot relying on my parents forever, all right? Hey !come on! Show me the way out. )

___________________________________________________________________

LET IT GO....................NO BIG DEAL........................IF 2012 IS THE DEADLINE.....................WHY NOT CHEERS IN EVERY SINGLE DAY......................

RELAX~~

2009-12-04T00:27:00.000Z

Woke up in the noon, with joy.

No bad dreams interrupped.

I never as strongly expected to go Sainsbury as today.

Milk!!SOYA!!Yougurt!!Cheese!!&Cashews.

Great, full of protein.

And then I was back, enjoyed a cartoon moive, called "Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs".

Really interesting~~~~~~~~~~and qute~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HAHAHAHAHA~~

Horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-11-30T21:52:00.000Z

OMG!

I can't deal with that!!

I don't know what the international regime is !! I cannot read through any words about it!!
I don't even know anything about critques, and ITU, WTO, blablablabla~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can I get through this Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks giving delay.

2009-11-29T23:55:00.000Z

Persway received my thanks giving card, and felt moved.
So gald to hear that.
And I mean it.
Thank u so much!

Just felt so lucky so many people treated me nice.
Someone cooking for me.
or helps me to solve the essay/presentation problems.
or invited me to watch meteor shower or go shopping or share a movie.
Someone encouraging me when I felt upset.
also reminded me stop eatting.....

Anyway(no related at all),
I can face my "non-makeup" face now. Amazing?

Butter fried with eggs and tomatoes

2009-11-28T19:32:00.000Z

I went to bicester villiage today. Go shopping! But I didn't bought anything( almost)! 3 levis' tongs and 1 starbucks! What a day! I am unhappy actually. Not only because I didn't find anything worth buying, but also someone annoying me every single minutes. I almost dying! I only want to relax and have some fun, it supposed to be wonderful....Terrible, next time I should remember , a happy company is really important, no matter what I am going to do.

But it's fine. I can handle it. Cooking sth different! As everyone knows, eggs fried with tomatoes is most famous home cooking in China. But I tried used butter instead of oil, and it is fatanstic! Mixed with cream and milk flavor~~~Have a TRY!

OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11.26

2009-11-26T16:11:00.000Z

His birthday.
I sent a message to him, and he asked me, where I am .
I didn't reply.
The truth is , my phone out of money.

I got my first comment from global media essay.
Well argued, good points, but too less reading. Daya said.
Far away enough. Not a high score.
But I know where I am going.

Wen got a ugly boyfriend, Jie got a hometown boyfriend.
But the most shocked is, Hui got a 30years older boyfriend!
She is really a black horse, who is getting ready to get married.
About me? I got a big fat face.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA~~~~

Focus girl!
Two presentation.
Two books.
The day is getting late,
I haven't started yet.

Deadline.

2009-11-22T23:08:00.000Z

Since when, everything have deadline.

Essay, of course. Milk, chilli sause, bread, cheese, vegetable, salmon. Everything related to my daily life.

Here is the situation. I am the one who'd like to wait the things out of date, then started to deal with it. Actually I didn't mean it, only forgot.

Why, they cannot last forever.

I wanna a boyfriend.

2009-11-22T01:17:00.000Z

This is the first time I admitted.

I am crazy.

Tonight, I saw a chinese sitcoms called "house". The boy there named "xiao bei", is acted by a actor named "wenzhang". He is so great as a boyfriend. I can tell his honest and sincere, when he loved the girl, he is so cute, so smart and so understanding. This is the first time I thought this actor is really attractive. So I can't help imaging if I can got a boyfriend like him. hahahahhahaha.

Really care about me, cooking for me, sharing the feelings with me, willing to spend money on me, and marry me.

homesick?

2009-11-19T01:30:00.000Z

I don't know.

Just got a moment. I got nothing to do..acutually I have lots need to do.

But I stopped, play a stupid little game, listen to the music, try to clam down.

Then I think about sth, I felt sth in my head.

I felt blue, at this moment.

A force come to me, without control. I cannot handle it by myself.

I need home..

I want to got a home.

I LOVE RICE

2009-11-18T00:23:00.000Z

I watching Friends in China. I watching Chinese version of Friends in England.

I having rice in my hometown. I loving rice in the oversea.

What's the matter with me.

Whatever.

I am lovin it.

FOCUS

2009-11-14T14:55:00.000Z

I need to focus on my study right now.

Even outside is bad weather.

But it is none of my business.

Tomorrow I will go to the cambrige..

The day after tomorrow and tomorrow I need to submit the essay!!

So, no time left!!!

Come on!!!

Focus!!

Stop eating! Stoping absent-mindedness!

A Propaganda Model

2009-11-09T22:56:00.000Z

I understood a propaganda model theory today!!

Big pogress. Haha.

Furthermore, I went to harrow-on-the-hill~bought a nice snow boots and trousers and T-shirt! also two bags of foods! I love Tesco!

Happy Happy Ya!

Continue to finish my essay~~Today will be perfect!

Pretty pretty young thing.

I was fooled by radish.

2009-11-08T23:00:00.000Z

The very first time,

I saw a small and slim radish in the supermarket,

I thought it was Gobo.

The second time,

I saw a big and fat radish in the superamrket,

I thought it was yam.

I cheated by radish two times.

What a crap!

I remembered what you look like now!

PS:

I stay in my room from 13:00-23:00pm,

working on my global global essay.

Almost dying............................................................................................................................................

Two guys

2009-11-07T23:20:00.000Z

There are two guys, both British. They will never disturb me until Weekend.

One of them said , he want to come to see me.

The other one said, he want to kiss me.

One comes, and makes me a dinner.

One never comes, but would bring 1000Pounds to buy me a kiss.

One is strange.

The other is wired.

There are two guys. But neither of them are mine.

Why nervous?

2009-11-06T22:05:00.000Z

I am totally felt no nervous when I am doing my presentation in front of maybe 50 people? Great!

Why sb nervous? I don't get it. First, English is not my mother tongue, so no one will judge. Clear and loud. it's fine. And I am pround of my prounciation, definitely not English English. Haha. Second, no one will really care what you are saying! Just pretending confident! Last but not least, I prepared at first, and totally trust myself.

Besides, I went shopping today! From 5pm to 8pm in famous westfield ..and then I felt exhausted. Westfield was so huge, and my snow boots makes me can't walk anymore. Also I realized that I am not a shopaholic at all. I just bougt some tiny little things, like shu uemura green tea remover~the classical one! and one bottle of natural colored nail polish, night gel, and L'mascara. Finally, I bought a bag of food, which was the biggest one!

I love cookies recently.. they are over sweet..as my daily life..

Hey u!

2009-11-05T19:04:00.000Z

I am a mess.

Recently.

I need some time to realize, I am becoming ugly... Since when? I hate the one who tell me the truth, which makes me worse. You know the secret? If you keep thinking about sth , it will come true. So I need to stop thinking about the negative. I am pretty ,pretty ,pretty.

Much better!

HAHAHAHAHA~~~~~~~

My dissertation title is coming, to figure out how chinese entertainment programs goes international.. Big One, isn't it?

Next, reading the political economy of the mass media....political...economy...horrible...

Anyway, I made a excellent dinner for myself. Ovened Salmon and chilli fried tofu ~with rice.

Let's start from here.

2009-11-04T23:19:00.000Z

I am desperated right now, even thougn I am not a houswife yet.

I spent almost 3hours to read 20s pages of "media ownership", I thought it will help my lecture named" political analysisi of communications policy'. However, tough night! and where is communication policy come from? For god sake, who cares!

The day after is my presentation day, for what, for my dissertation. I only started to learn "global media" for 1 month, I still cannot get the the main ideas what I am learning. How could I suppose to present.

Another situation is, Jeebie's visa has been refused, Selene's visa has been sented back, what about me? Maybe I answered a wrong answer.....Do not so harsh. Home office!! Please~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOOOOO. I need to start to write my essay , read my books, prepare my presentation..no lazy, just do it!!!!

By the way, I saw a guy today looks like Ye's ex and Mine ex's Mix~~~~

Maybe Mr ji is right, the best for you is to marry a nice guy after graduation~~Good point!

I deserve a easy life~When I am graduated, again.