The only thing I am worried about , to be wiz u,

is,

I cannot handle anything without u by my side...

update

It is raining outside, have not update for a while..

I'm fine...totally fine, these days..

been to cheddar, bath, wells, and weston..

be wiz many people and parties..

cooking as usual..

laughing more than before..

dreaming of the Europe travel in the coming month...

Everything is, and going to be fantastic!!

To be or not to be

Seeing him, everything is wonderful.

Not seeing him, down to the ground.

However,

I'd rather..the latter one..

yellow

"Does he likes me?"
"May be"
"Am I fall in love with him?"
"No"
"Do I need to be active?"
"Ask again"
"..."
"Not now"
"Are u serious?"
"Absolutely"

Lol...my dear yellow baby~

Be disappointed in a love affair

Crying..shouting, and losing ten pounds fat!

These are what I am dreamed of ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life is damned boring!

cheer up, girl!

I made my schedual for next 5days.. which makes me cannot breathe, seriously.. loads of things to deal with, and no one is easy..I can do it!!! Everything will pass~~~~~~~~~~I just need to hold few more days, I can do it!!!!!!!!

I am back, China. and I will play and think about my dissertation and essay seriously.. I will, definitely, the least thing is , I only got certificate when I am graduate, so what, no one will care about this, I still can find a job and live my life and a essay mark can not stands for my ability,I trust my ability, and I will do my best.

Hey, I will survive after 24, March !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am not myself.

These days, I am not myself..although I still have fun with my lovely classmetes, my dear friends, but when I am alone, I have to face the truth...I got a lot of work!!!to do!!!!!!!befor I back home.

Come on!!!
I just felt like my worring makes my spots more visiable. Terrible!

1. 4000 literature review..what the hell, go for it.. no matter what I am researching,,just do it.. follow the structure, read the books, I cannot expect anything more. but I can do it, and do it great!

2. Tutorial for the media audiences. I only pass the last essay, It means that I need to do and read more on this one, earn more marks, and revise my attitude!!!!So, this weekend I will.

3. Tutorial for the approaches to media and communications. I am not sure about this one, anyhow, read and prepared!!!!

4. Presentation for international media business. ..............shut up and go ahead.

Wonderful...!

cannot sleep

3 o'clock in the morning, I got up, and wrote blog.

Thinking about I am going back home 11days later, exciting! also thinking about I haven't started my essay, worrying! and my laundry, my academic books, my unknown jobs........

Anyhow, I will back home with some fabulous gifts, my mommi deserved a LV..I made up my mind, although it takes me almost one month living expense, she is my loved mom!haha!And I will bought myself one soon! When I earned my money! Go ahead!

and I am going back to cutting my hair, doing a massage, spending time with my family and eating!!!!!!

Look forward to it!!!lol~~~~

suddenly, unhappy.

Annoying, everything is annoying, and the point is , Never pofit at other expense.

Phone4u, a big trouble, waste my time to deal with the unknow stuff, makes me upset. I have to finish the next two unknow essays, and presents two unknow presentation.Everything ,suddenly annoying me. What happened, maybe coz it is deep night, which makes me felt unsafe.

Am I kind of person who afraid of trouble? yes, indeed, of course, absolutely, definitely, whatever. I am, most times happy inside, little time want to kick someone's ass. and shouting, screw u!

Hahahahha .Nothing happened~~~~I will be back home soon!! 22days later. No matter what.

Isn't it nice?

I am going through all these.

I dreamed a big house

Last night, or this morning, I have had a dream, dreamed of my parents got a new big house in London, and everyone from Changsha was coming here in London, my uncle, sister...such a big family. And Our home is really nice, black and white, classic and modern, The most interesting is, my relatives sent some preserved meat, to fulfill one of the room.

And I remembered I asked a question, Should I back home this March, I bought the plane tickets already, my mother said, of course not, everyone is here. And I replied, oh, get refund for the ticket will charge a lot. Lol~~~So interesting!

Ok. It is may be not a dream, it tells me , I could make this real. Just like "eastern wick".

Deal with my international media business essay first, still got 1400 words to go.

UN-EXCITED.

Got the job!

But the thing is, I am not excited at all....

and the first sight I thought the letter was from Rob, and I misunderstood, then I realized, it is the result.

Wholly crap.

I think the reason of not exciting is, For one thing, I haven't started my essay, and don't know where to started yet. For another, I felt I didn't get crash on Rob anymore.....lost the feeling to love someone.

55555.

I would rather dip into the yearning.

Some thoughts.

1. I got my two essays mark, pass. This is the only word I could say, I felt OK, coz I Passed already, on the other hand, disappointed, I am afraid I have no talent to study, and no patient to read at all.

2. Some of my classmates are doing great, one was having intership in Xinhua News Agency in London, one was doing BBC presenter assistant, the other one got a fantastic boyfriend who could afford her life, and also one will come back to China directly after she graduated. Everyone seems got a plan. What about me?

3.I ate, ate, ate, too much, can not stand myself any more.

4. Happy new year? At least after this new year day. Party!huge party. Enjoy it. Leave the complicated things after tommorrow.

5.Hey, My togue was stucked again. Say sth!!!

Desperated housegirl.

Please call me.

I have no idea , what's wrong with me~~anything was too great, fantastic, terrific, no more to decribe. I just can not help doing anything but studying. I could stayed at home watching a stupid film for a whole afternoon, or scan a stupid recipe blog for a fucking whole night, I have no idea what's going on with me. I just wanna go home, without thinking of anything , not to study, not to work, not to write essay and find a job. I am out of pressure of myself when I am alone in this stupid spacious room!!It is horrible. coz this room was so comfortable, makes me don't wanna leave, don't wanna doing sth right.

I desperated want to going to library to study for a while? but I can't . I cannot even move out of my stupid room, I focus most on my recipt everyday, my personal information, I put everything together, I want sb will come and told me , he gonna give me a fatanstic job!with paid! or he wanna marry me, and do not need me to worry about the rest of my life. GREAT! That's what my stupid head think of right now! a easy way!!!

Who doesn't want to. especially in a stupid foreign country, no one could help you get out of here.

Home, all I want is go home, right now. Call me crazy. call me out of mind. call me have no thoughts and no plans, call me lazy, call me blind, call me silly.Ok, That's the me , in this moment.

I need to get rid of it, after spending a fabulous chinese new year festival. I will start over again. I promise.

I don't like she.

One of my best friend, not now.

We have some distances, since we went to college.

I don't know what's to continue, these three nights, I felt unsatisfied with my situation.

No one can talk to, specially when my blog was being noticed by most of close friend, I cannot say anything...

ALL OF A SUDDEN

I wanna back home.

Just a flash, into my brain.

During the birthday between my ex' and mine.

I need to plan this, for a while.

So much homework to do!That's terrible~~I can go through this..

Cause, I wanno go home.

Today is the last day of being fun.

I have been to France already. Nice trip, even the city is not that nice.

But suddenly felt nervous...strong feeling...nobody can talk to.

Tomorrow is the first day of my second term of postgraduate.

The first term I felt relax, cause I thought will be make a great progess after few months, but few months later, till today, still got nothing in my brain. Scared..with great hope from my family...I know it was thinking too much..but just cannot stop thinking..when u really serious about your study and future work, is tough.. all right? If we could keep playing, as past ten days, how fatanstic would be?

Woke up at 9am, doing the laundrary, borrowing some books from library, and then watch several English vedios for the whole day..(Building great environment of English speaking)..Good girl!

Wanna speak to mom, actually, but don't know where to start, If told her, still cannot make things better. or else makes she worried about me.

Ok. I am fine~~I could totally be fine. Everyone was the same, so , no panic, go ahead!

For tommorrow!for the first class!

At home.

After new year, I stayed at home. The longest distance was went to the kitchen.

Reading, writing, concentrating, sleeping, eating. No one disturbed.

That's good, and quiet. Sometimes I even seldom talk. The first words came out of my mouth was saying "happy new year" to my lovely neighbour. I surprised with my conditioned response, in English. Totally English. Not that familiar, but nice.

Baked sweetpotatoes, green leaves and mushrooms with melted butter. Nice! But not today, today I didn't felt like want to eat much. All I had is : a bowl of milk with wheat flakes, a handful sweety dates, a piece of milk chocolate, and yougurt mixed with peanut butter. I said not that much, but when listed , I felt! oh! not that less..........haha .

Good start!! I can keep losing my weight!! A lovely face in French pic.

Meanwhile, started my essay! about 1,000 words already! still 1,500 words to go!!

WOW~~~