I wanna be proved.

Today, my friend asked me to go out to have dinner~~ I agreed...........at the same time, I thinked about sth. He said I am becoming ugly according to my photo before..AND we haven't met for 3 years......

My os was " to prove I am beautiful!!!!" but little bit afraid I am not ....................making up, trying different clothes, to make things perfect.............................I am nervous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Can't believe it ....but I DO. The main point is, I lost 3KG weight already...but still far more fat than used to be.

I need to be proved., cross the barrier. face the one and told him , he was totally wrong!!! But I even want to call him saying, I am not going! Luckily, I am not.

Because. he still think I am pretty., maybe not that much, but it is not that fat as the pic shows. and I also met so many Hunanese, we speaking in dialect, sharing jokes, and I can felt someone staring at me.

MY YOUTH, MY PASSION, MY CHARM...........

The next step!!

-3kg!!again!!

hold on , hold on............I CAN HANDLE IT!!

In process

Bought the eroustar! I can through the sea to France~~~~~~~~~~

Dissertation proposal was being checked by Winston and Maria...........A lot need to do.

HOOPS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What a day........................................

On one hand, excited about my future Christmas celebrate and French travel!~~~~ On the other hand~~~~~~~~I am desperated in my following 3 essays! & this proposal~~~!!!!

Gesus.........GET ME OUT OF STUDY~~~~~~~~~~~~~OR HELP ME THROUGH ALL THE DISGUSTing ESSAYS!!!!!!!

Do !!please!! If you're really exsist.

Stay up

Now is Greenwich time 7:26am.
I can't believe ether, didn't fell asleep the whole night........

What I was thinking?
Sth amazing.

For example,

when go back to home?

How to organize my luggdges between holidays?

What is my future job?

Where I will live in the end of next year?

What am I eatting for tomorrow?

Should I keeping on a diet?

How can I write the political essay? & dissertation proposal?

Should I come to Manchester this Saturday?

What I want to buy in Christmas?

What can I prepared for gifts to my dear friend?

BLABLABLABLABLA~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So much~~~~~~~~~~~~my brain is BLOWING~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's why I cannot sleep......
Stupid, right?

Things will come, when it coms.

Go in good health!

The things needs to be done from 12.8-12.20!

1. Finishing 2 essay, 1 proposal.
1)borrow books.
2)read
3)one by one
4)start to write

2. Lose weight -5kg.
I am doing, drinking lemon water, eatting less.
Already -1kg, GOOD MOVE!

3. Change to the right time-zone.
1)go to bed before 12pm
2)get up before 10am
3)Moving fast
4)Plan what I am going to do every single day, and do it!
5)DADA

Hahahahaha.
Go in good health, that's what max said, for me, go in good mood as well~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cheers!

Yes, it did.

Everytime I saw the picture from my friends, hometown, BJ, everything..

They are doing so well.. I am pround of them. Also missing them.

Especially the great Chinese dishes!

Hahahahaha.

Don't know which way to go.

But actually that's everyone concerned...so stop being blue.

No more thinking, just do it!

It's tuff.

After one year.

1. If I have no change(by appearence), friends may feel no surprise.
2.if I am getting too fat? everyone will avoids me, including myself.
3.If I am turnning to slim, mom will afraid I was not eatting well in UK.

(Anyway, I prefer the last one, although I am acting the second one. )

In this year.

1. I cannot decide what research I am going to do for final dissertation.
2. The topic I chosed right now is ....just felt no good .
3. But if I chose advertising ...I am no familiar with it, just felt interesting, so it may also hard to do the research.
4. I would like to do sth related to my future career. But I have no plan for my future career right now....................................What I thought before, has already fade out...
5. It's just a dissertation, or my whole career life....................................
6. So I cannot make decision.........I was thinking , thinking ,thinking,,for nothing......................

(Maybe I was thinking too much,but it is the reality , all right? I have to figure sth in my entire life, all right? I cannot relying on my parents forever, all right? Hey !come on! Show me the way out. )

___________________________________________________________________

LET IT GO....................NO BIG DEAL........................IF 2012 IS THE DEADLINE.....................WHY NOT CHEERS IN EVERY SINGLE DAY......................

RELAX~~

Woke up in the noon, with joy.

No bad dreams interrupped.

I never as strongly expected to go Sainsbury as today.

Milk!!SOYA!!Yougurt!!Cheese!!&Cashews.

Great, full of protein.

And then I was back, enjoyed a cartoon moive, called "Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs".

Really interesting~~~~~~~~~~and qute~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HAHAHAHAHA~~

Horrible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!

I can't deal with that!!

I don't know what the international regime is !! I cannot read through any words about it!!
I don't even know anything about critques, and ITU, WTO, blablablabla~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How can I get through this Wednesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Save me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks giving delay.

Persway received my thanks giving card, and felt moved.
So gald to hear that.
And I mean it.
Thank u so much!

Just felt so lucky so many people treated me nice.
Someone cooking for me.
or helps me to solve the essay/presentation problems.
or invited me to watch meteor shower or go shopping or share a movie.
Someone encouraging me when I felt upset.
also reminded me stop eatting.....

Anyway(no related at all),
I can face my "non-makeup" face now. Amazing?

Butter fried with eggs and tomatoes

I went to bicester villiage today. Go shopping! But I didn't bought anything( almost)! 3 levis' tongs and 1 starbucks! What a day! I am unhappy actually. Not only because I didn't find anything worth buying, but also someone annoying me every single minutes. I almost dying! I only want to relax and have some fun, it supposed to be wonderful....Terrible, next time I should remember , a happy company is really important, no matter what I am going to do.

But it's fine. I can handle it. Cooking sth different! As everyone knows, eggs fried with tomatoes is most famous home cooking in China. But I tried used butter instead of oil, and it is fatanstic! Mixed with cream and milk flavor~~~Have a TRY!

OK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheers~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

11.26

His birthday.
I sent a message to him, and he asked me, where I am .
I didn't reply.
The truth is , my phone out of money.


I got my first comment from global media essay.
Well argued, good points, but too less reading. Daya said.
Far away enough. Not a high score.
But I know where I am going.


Wen got a ugly boyfriend, Jie got a hometown boyfriend.
But the most shocked is, Hui got a 30years older boyfriend!
She is really a black horse, who is getting ready to get married.
About me? I got a big fat face.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA~~~~

Focus girl!
Two presentation.
Two books.
The day is getting late,
I haven't started yet.

Deadline.

Since when, everything have deadline.

Essay, of course. Milk, chilli sause, bread, cheese, vegetable, salmon. Everything related to my daily life.

Here is the situation. I am the one who'd like to wait the things out of date, then started to deal with it. Actually I didn't mean it, only forgot.

Why, they cannot last forever.

I wanna a boyfriend.

This is the first time I admitted.

I am crazy.

Tonight, I saw a chinese sitcoms called "house". The boy there named "xiao bei", is acted by a actor named "wenzhang". He is so great as a boyfriend. I can tell his honest and sincere, when he loved the girl, he is so cute, so smart and so understanding. This is the first time I thought this actor is really attractive. So I can't help imaging if I can got a boyfriend like him. hahahahhahaha.

Really care about me, cooking for me, sharing the feelings with me, willing to spend money on me, and marry me.

homesick?

I don't know.

Just got a moment. I got nothing to do..acutually I have lots need to do.

But I stopped, play a stupid little game, listen to the music, try to clam down.

Then I think about sth, I felt sth in my head.

I felt blue, at this moment.

A force come to me, without control. I cannot handle it by myself.

I need home..

I want to got a home.

I LOVE RICE

I watching Friends in China. I watching Chinese version of Friends in England.

I having rice in my hometown. I loving rice in the oversea.

What's the matter with me.

Whatever.

I am lovin it.

FOCUS

I need to focus on my study right now.

Even outside is bad weather.

But it is none of my business.

Tomorrow I will go to the cambrige..

The day after tomorrow and tomorrow I need to submit the essay!!

So, no time left!!!

Come on!!!

Focus!!

Stop eating! Stoping absent-mindedness!

A Propaganda Model

I understood a propaganda model theory today!!

Big pogress. Haha.

Furthermore, I went to harrow-on-the-hill~bought a nice snow boots and trousers and T-shirt! also two bags of foods! I love Tesco!

Happy Happy Ya!

Continue to finish my essay~~Today will be perfect!

Pretty pretty young thing.

I was fooled by radish.

The very first time,

I saw a small and slim radish in the supermarket,

I thought it was Gobo.

The second time,

I saw a big and fat radish in the superamrket,

I thought it was yam.

I cheated by radish two times.

What a crap!

I remembered what you look like now!

PS:

I stay in my room from 13:00-23:00pm,

working on my global global essay.

Almost dying............................................................................................................................................

Two guys

There are two guys, both British. They will never disturb me until Weekend.

One of them said , he want to come to see me.

The other one said, he want to kiss me.

One comes, and makes me a dinner.

One never comes, but would bring 1000Pounds to buy me a kiss.

One is strange.

The other is wired.

There are two guys. But neither of them are mine.

Why nervous?

I am totally felt no nervous when I am doing my presentation in front of maybe 50 people? Great!

Why sb nervous? I don't get it. First, English is not my mother tongue, so no one will judge. Clear and loud. it's fine. And I am pround of my prounciation, definitely not English English. Haha. Second, no one will really care what you are saying! Just pretending confident! Last but not least, I prepared at first, and totally trust myself.

Besides, I went shopping today! From 5pm to 8pm in famous westfield ..and then I felt exhausted. Westfield was so huge, and my snow boots makes me can't walk anymore. Also I realized that I am not a shopaholic at all. I just bougt some tiny little things, like shu uemura green tea remover~the classical one! and one bottle of natural colored nail polish, night gel, and L'mascara. Finally, I bought a bag of food, which was the biggest one!

I love cookies recently.. they are over sweet..as my daily life..

Hey u!

I am a mess.

Recently.

I need some time to realize, I am becoming ugly... Since when? I hate the one who tell me the truth, which makes me worse. You know the secret? If you keep thinking about sth , it will come true. So I need to stop thinking about the negative. I am pretty ,pretty ,pretty.

Much better!

HAHAHAHAHA~~~~~~~

My dissertation title is coming, to figure out how chinese entertainment programs goes international.. Big One, isn't it?

Next, reading the political economy of the mass media....political...economy...horrible...

Anyway, I made a excellent dinner for myself. Ovened Salmon and chilli fried tofu ~with rice.

Let's start from here.

I am desperated right now, even thougn I am not a houswife yet.

I spent almost 3hours to read 20s pages of "media ownership", I thought it will help my lecture named" political analysisi of communications policy'. However, tough night! and where is communication policy come from? For god sake, who cares!

The day after is my presentation day, for what, for my dissertation. I only started to learn "global media" for 1 month, I still cannot get the the main ideas what I am learning. How could I suppose to present.

Another situation is, Jeebie's visa has been refused, Selene's visa has been sented back, what about me? Maybe I answered a wrong answer.....Do not so harsh. Home office!! Please~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HOOOOO. I need to start to write my essay , read my books, prepare my presentation..no lazy, just do it!!!!

By the way, I saw a guy today looks like Ye's ex and Mine ex's Mix~~~~

Maybe Mr ji is right, the best for you is to marry a nice guy after graduation~~Good point!

I deserve a easy life~When I am graduated, again.